Dear sweet one,
I love connecting with you and sharing the process of navigating these times with love.
I continue to write less frequently than usual because life is moving at a different pace right now. I am convinced we are all supposed to be moving a little more slowly and giving space to care for ourselves and each other.
Personally I have been moving through various griefs. My family is still thick in the process of all the practical and emotional work that follows that passing of my father-in-law. Slowing down to feel this one grief has caught the attention of other griefs that I have carried, and they circle around my like puppies sensing I have a treat for them – the treat of space and attention. It helps to think of the backlog of sorrows as a swirl of puppies, yes?
I know I’m not alone. Collectively we’ve been through so much. Autumn itself entails a letting-go energy. From what I’ve heard, the astrology of the moment has also been pushing us to integrate feelings that have been in the shadows.
The strategies that I developed for tending my griefs one at a time have a limit. I love telling stories and looking at photos about people I have lost. This practice will always be important to me. It also take a lot of time!
I developed my one-grief-at-a-time strategy in the context of suffering relatively little in my life. When someone passed on from this life it was a startling disruption. Underneath my true heartache, on the edge of my consciousness, was the grief that a perfect world had been ruined. Our dominant culture goes to great lengths to eliminate sorrow, to cut us off from the sorrows of our own past and in turn creates so many unjust sorrows for others. Even the idea that I can sort through and organize my griefs so they are less overwhelming is a splendid example of a mind desperate to stay in control.
The grief puppies will not be organized!
Not yet. They will make messes, break things, and chew your shoes. But they can be slowly trained.
I am appreciating the training I receive from my spiritual practices. Today I want to mention just one tributary in this enormous subject, and that is my deepening connection to Our Lady who comes in many forms, including Our Lady of Sorrows. I experience Her as a well of infinite compassion that extends to all our sorrows.
What is important here is the change in focus. The question is no longer weather I’ve been able to sort all my griefs into a neat pattern that will make the world look perfect again. Instead I am curious to open my heart to a compassion that understands sorrow as part of life. I even feel a little grateful to the chaos of the grief puppies for helping me take one more step in letting go of my need to control my world. They are helping me turn my focus more and more on the source of compassion. Every time I dance, practice qigong, or meditate, I am developing my ability to maintain this focus.
The grief puppies also want to love me with exuberant puppy love. And when they mature, they will be my loyal companions and guardians.
With puppy love,
emily
Join me for a special dance day that honors the cycle of life
Dancing into the Dark Mysteries
Connect with ancestors and myths to guide you into the realm of inner treasure. A gathering based in women’s ritual dances from the Balkans, Greece, and Asia Minor. Learn more.
Sunday, November 7, 2021, 2-7 PM, Picnic Shelter A, Fort Snelling State Park
